Some Thoughts on Life

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      Life is an amazing journey that we each walk in our own way. There are as many different paths through life as there are people.  I decided to share a few things here that I have learned on my own journey. We all have wisdom to share, but too often, we keep the most important lessons to ourselves. I hope you find some of these insuights helpful.

     Things change all the time. Big things, little things, inconsequential things and important thing, always changing, always in flux. The biggest challenges we face are recognizing the signs of change and being flexible enough, alive enough, to allow change to roll over us without crushing us. It is human nature to cling to what is familiar, but it isn't always the best thing to do.

     Living, fully living, requires that we are willing to make decisions as necessary. Situations come up all the time that we feel totally unprepared to deal with, that is just the nature of life.  In some ways, we have been raised with Fairy Tale hopes and expectations of life. Too often, we are unprepared or unwilling to face the harsher realities of life,  even when they are right in front of us.  This is a huge mistake, because we can have Fairy Tale happiness, but to do so, we much be willing to face life on life's terms, with courage, tenacity, and an open spirit.

     Life is more of an amazing adventure than most of us have ever even imagined.  Sure there are challenges and problems to deal with, but there are also wonderful adventures, discoveries, and magic.  The more honest you are with yourself about your life and the situations in it, the better prepared you are to enjoy what is good and overcome what is difficult, no matter what it is.  Living fully is a decision that a person makes, many people choose an easier,  more comfortable path that lets them sleepwalk through much of life, because they don't want to accept some of life's realities. Some of them are happy enough, I guess, but they will never be truly joyous, they will never know the full richness of many of life's experiences, because their fear and inertia will hold them back.

     Auntie Mame, in the famous book and movie of the same name, said "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."  It is theatrical line, but it is also very  true.  Far too few people choose to live all the way out to their edges, fail to dare to be who they really are.  I am not sure why this is true, but it is.   For you, the challenge is to decide what you really want.  Do you want to live your life fully, with all the joy and all the pain?  or do you want to shelter yourself and give up much of the joy to avoid some of the pain?

    This is  a question that you will need to think about for awhile, because your answer will affect the quality of the rest of your life.  Many people never ask themselves this question, and just drift along, letting their reactions decide for them, one situation at a time.  I don't recommend this, it is far better to decide one way or the other.

     The right answer for you, will depend on many things, including your personality, your tolerance for risk, your sense of adventure, and what you value most.  Do you value security more than freedom, or the other way around? Do you crave adventure, or do you crave quiet and peace? Are you willing to settle? or do you want to live life to the fullest? Where is your comfort level? and does it mean more to you than pushing youre limits?  There is no right answer to these questions, there is only the right answer for you. Whatever you decide, be honest with yourself, and then walk into your future with courage and honesty.   We are all unique, and one size does not fit all.

     Conscious living, on any path is a far better choice than unconscious living. Wherever your life journey takes you, be present for the experience.  The more fully present you are, the better the experience, learning and results of your choices will be.

      An important part of conscious living is being realistic about people, and accepting them for who they are, and then deciding if you want them in your life or not.  There are some perfectly fine people that I don't choose to have in my life for a variety of reasons. There are problem people whose, lifestyle, ethics, values or something else, makes them people I am not interested in knowing.  I don't deny what I see, I don't pretend, I just decide, if this is a person I want to associate with, or not.   

     A simple rule that has worked well for me is  .  .  .  

 I only give to givers, I don't give to takers. 

     When I say give,  I am talking about my time, my energy, my affection, my thoughts, my loyalty, my life force.   When you give to a giver, they use that energy etc. you have given them and they pass it along to others, they respect the gift you have given them by passing it along, creating a positive ripple in the world. When you give to a taker, it like throwing your energy etc. down a rat hole, they suck up your energy, never pass it along to anyone, and they are off the suck up energy from another kind, unsuspecting, giver.  When you give to a taker, your gift just drops into a bottomless pit, a sinkhole, and benefits no one except the taker, and they don't even really value it, they just use it selfishly.

      What I have come to value most in people, is their kindness. If a person is kind, it is more important than if they are smart, or attractive, or successful, share my interests,  are admired, or anything else.  You can trust a kind person to be kind, and that usually mean, being honest with you when it counts.  There are two kinds of people in the world,  .   .  . those who wish the world well, and those who don't.   Kind people wish the world well, they don't enjoy the misfortune of other, but they do enjoy when other people have good fortune, they honestly feel happy for them.  This is the kind of person that is worth having in your life.

     In relationships, this especially imporatant, kindness counts.  For a relationship to have any long term future, or at least a happy one, the most important thing is a shared value system.  Anything else can be lived with or worked round,  but if you have different value systems, different ethical standards, you will never be really compatible,  the relationship is doomed from the start.  In the short term, you may try to overlook the ethical differences, but in the end, they will cause way to many problems to be worth the trouble.  It's funny, two people with the sleaziesty ethics in the world can be happy together, but a person with decent ethics can never be happy with a person who doesn't share those ethics.

     Differences of religion and spirituality in a relationship need not be a problem, the differences can be overcome with mutual respect.  Accepting that everyone hears and understands the Life Force and Divinity in their own way is essential for a healthy relationship with anyone, especially a person one shares their life with.  If your ethical values are similar, a difference in religious expression, faith and beliefs should not be a problem.  Respect the other person enough to leave them alone and don't try to convert them to your faith, respect that they have their own.  

     So off you go, enjoy your life, be honest with yourself, live with courage and make the best decisions that you can.  And if you have made poor choices in the past, you can change that pattern any time you decide to live more authentically, to live more in harmony with yourself and your own best interests.

     Distractions like the over use of drugs, alcohol, food, or compulsive sexual behavior don't fix anything, and often cause lots of unnecessary problems for you. Moderation in all things makes life easier and saner.  Using crutches can lead to addiction, especially if you have a genetic predisposition for alcoholism or addiction.  When you rely on these things as a crutch, soon the crutch stops supporting you, and it leads to falls, sometimes fatal ones. 

     If you find that you have fallen into this trap, you can change and crawl out of the coffin your crutches have built for you,  We all have made mistakes in life, what really matters is if we courage to face our mistakes and if we are willing to takes responsibility for our lives, fix the mistakes we have made.  It is never too late for a fresh start, as long as you are still breathing.    Being loaded on anything isn't cool, or sophisticated or hip, it is just shortsighted and dumb.  To have a great life, you need to have all your faculties working, and not be living in a haze or fog of self dillusion.

       Life is too short and too precious to let any person, substance, problem,  or obsession take control of your journey.   Claim yourself, claim your life, claim your power, and live to the fullest, each and every day. This is not a dress rehearsal. 

as Mr Spock would say .  .  .  "Live long and prosper." 

 

   

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